Steven and I are finally back on our date night routine after an entire summer of all work and no play. If you’re new here, my husband Steven started his master’s program in 2021 and finally finished and graduated this summer. Because of that, he was head down wrapping up finals, papers, and projects. It also meant that any fun we had planned was on hold (including our anniversary trip) since this was more important to us — including our weekly date nights.
When Steven and I started dating we would go on dates almost every other day. After we had our first baby, it obviously slowed down but we always made a promise to each other that we would never get too comfortable in our relationship. This means that we will never stop courting each other and we will put effort into how we look.
I didn’t want to be one of those couples that once they got married, they feel like they don’t have to put in the work anymore. It’s funny how we put so much effort into buying that new outfit and spending hours doing our hair and makeup, going to the barbershop, making plans for where to eat or what to do when we’re in the dating stages to impress our date, but we stop once we’re in the “safe” zone aka married.
I will admit, sometimes motherhood and work get in the way of date nights and I’m so exhausted from pouring out so much of myself during the week that the last thing I want to do is get ready. However, that effort is so important. I don’t think that it’s fair for our significant others to get our leftovers when we put so much effort into other aspects of our lives.
I know every date night can’t be a fashion show. Sometimes we go to the movies in sweats and hoodies just to squeeze in some time for ourselves and that’s totally fine. I just don’t believe it should be that way every time. It should be less often… For me personally.
It’s also a nice change of pace for us to see each other outside of our normal everyday clothes. For most of the week, I’m in a messy hair bun, leggings, and a baggy tee. So when it comes to my date night looks, I like going all out just to bring out the real me. The me before kids. The me before marriage.
As silly as this sounds, it’s like uncovering buried treasure as soon as I put on a skin tight top or freakum dress. I feel more like myself as soon as I look in the mirror and see that my hair is done and my makeup is on point.
As much as Steven says he doesn’t care either way, I know that when I’m dressed up, he looks at me differently and moves differently. I can’t describe how or what it is that he does, but I know that he really enjoys it. Especially when it’s time to take me home (if you know what I mean).
Steven and I have been together for almost 10 years. I’m so happy that we have never gotten comfortable and we’ve never stopped impressing each other no matter how many years have gone by.