My Best Advice for the Single Girl

To all my single ladies out there reading this, my best advice for you is to ENJOY EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF IT SIS! Don’t think about your “biological clock”, don’t worry about being the only family member not married or in a relationship, don’t put pressure on yourself to find your person because you feel like everyone around you is engaged, married, and starting families.

As the girl who was the last in her family to have kids, I can tell you I know what it’s like to feel left behind. Then again, I thought something was wrong with me because I was never your typical girl. I preferred situationships over relationships to avoid commitment and I never saw myself married, let alone having kids.

When I was younger and planning out my life, I always pictured owning a cute little townhome in the city with one sink in the primary bathroom, a walk-in closet that held all of my designer bags and shoes without a man’s side, and coming home from work to pour myself a glass of wine and enjoy it alone. I always wanted to be the “cool auntie” who would spoil her nieces and nephews because I was too busy with my career to have kids of my own.

It’s funny how life works, things never go as planned. Here I am married with two kids, while sharing a closet and double sinks far from the city with the love of my life. Instead of enjoying a glass of wine by myself, I’m enjoying it in the tub while my kids yell for me on the other side of the door. I’m not saying it to rub it in, I’m saying it to prove a point— let life happen.

Your person is out there and I strongly believe what’s for you is only for you. Putting yourself on a timeline, “following the rules”, or comparing your journey to someone else’s will cause you to settle and I can’t think of anything worse. When it’s your time, you’ll find your other half without having to try so hard. Everything will fall into place and it will almost feel like it was meant to be… That’s because it is.

It’s true when they say “You’ll know when you’ve met the one”. Steven and I weren’t looking for each other when we happened. But when we did, we both knew it. I had talked to and dated all types from pro athletes in the NBA and the NFL to corporate guys with executive level positions, and guys with normal nine to fives. They were all the same until I met Steven. Something about him was different. He had something none of them had and it was easy to fall.

So in the meantime, date as much and as many as you’d like because your dating life is nobody’s business. However, I will say be careful who you get intimate with. You don’t want that to come back and bite you if you meet “the one”.

Put your career first (if that’s a priority), enjoy staying up all night and sleeping in without being responsible for little people who will wake up at the crack of dawn, climb on top of you while you’re sleeping in bed, and ask you to make them oatmeal on a lazy Saturday.

Take your time. Everyone goes at their own pace. And like my favorite rapper of all time would say, “Life’s a marathon, not a sprint”. The more you get to do during your single days, the more ready you’ll be to settle down and be all in.