As of lately this term has come up a ton and I have chosen not to subscribe to it. As a feminist, I have a major problem with this term. When a man is the sole provider for his family, is an active father, a loving husband, helps with the household chores, takes the cars to the shop, makes sure the gas tanks are full, and takes care of the yard work he’s considered a good man, a strong man. But when a woman is able to do it all she’s degraded to having a syndrome?
I wonder if the women that coined this term are in a place of entitlement. Here’s the thing, the women in other countries, such as my mother’s country — El Salvador do way more with a lot less and live happier lives. It’s their culture.
As the daughter of an immigrant and a single mother I was raised to be a woman about mine. Being a woman about mine means I take care of my own like a real G. My kids, my house, and my husband are all of my responsibilities. I don’t have other women such as nannies or our moms taking care of my kids because I work from home so I’m with them all day. I don’t have housekeepers because I should be the one cleaning up after myself and my family, while teaching our kids how to do it. I don’t have chefs, unless it’s a special occasion because it’s my responsibility to nurture my own family. I make sure I pull my own weight around here (I’ve made it real hard for Steven to replace me).
I do it all because it’s a labor of love. It’s what I signed up for when I decided to get married and have kids. Everything I do for my family makes me happy and actually gives me a boost of self-esteem because I’m watching myself in real-time and am so proud of myself for doing what a lot can’t.
I’m a full-time mom, a housekeeper, a chef, and a wife. I also have a career and am working on a side hustle. Do I need to grind the way I do? No. My husband has made it possible for me to work by choice and not out of necessity. Am I overwhelmed? Absolutely. Newsflash: Who isn’t?
A lot of my girlfriends ask how I make it look so easy and the truth is, I had an amazing example growing up. My mom didn’t have any help so she did it all alone. Can Steven and I afford help such as night nurses, nannies, and housekeepers? Yes. However, I need my kids to grow up knowing what hard work looks like so when it’s their turn, they can roll up their sleeves and dig right in. How can I preach about the value in hard work or the importance of integrity behind your work if I myself am not working?
Personally, I feel like if you give your kids everything you’re doing them a big disservice. How do we expect our kids to navigate through life if we give them everything and take care of everything for them? How else will they have a strong work ethic if they’ve never needed to have one? I don’t want my kids to become easily stressed and overwhelmed as adults because I didn’t give them the tools and the work ethic to handle life when they’re adults. What better way to teach them than to have them watch me?
One thing about my kids is that they’re going to be some clean freaks who know how to cook so that they can take care of themselves (and their families if they choose to have them). They will work their little hearts off to become the best in whatever line of work they choose. You can bet that!
Work ethic is big to me. I promise you’ve never met anyone that can match mine. My in-laws are always impressed watching me when they’re in town, it was one of the things that caught Steven’s attention when we first met, and even my bosses are impressed at the quality of my work as I juggle being a stay at home mom AND a work at home mom. Because of that, I’m also able to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I am able to work from home because I don’t need to be micromanaged, I am able to spend all day with my kids because can’t nobody care for them the way mama can, and I am able to spoil myself, my kids, and my husband with my own.
Do I take time for myself? Absolutely. I book a spa day whenever I need it. I go out to dinner and drinks with my girlfriends. I have date nights and getaways with my husband. Again, it’s all about balance. I truly believe if you want to do it all, you really can.
So to the women that are doing it all, you are a real-life superwoman. It’s not a syndrome, it’s your superpower. Don’t let anyone try to look down on you because they can’t keep up.
Until next time my fellow superhero,