Friends and family will all tell you I’m far from all the adjectives that describe a girl. I’m rough, blunt, loud, and Steven is always saying that I think like a guy too much. I love dressing up but I feel more like myself in sweats, no makeup, and my hair in a bun. When we found out we were pregnant, I kept thinking to myself “I do not have a single nurturing bone in my body, how am I going to pull off being a mom?
I didn’t realize how nervous I was about having a little girl until the day of our reveal party. Why was I so scared to have a baby girl? They’re so cute, you can dress them up in the prettiest clothes, do their hair, do their nails, play with dolls, have dance recitals, have tea parties, and then it came to me… all those things intimidate me. Soon after it made me realize why I’ve always had more guy friends than girls. There’s nothing dainty about me, I’ve never been catty, and I hate female drama. If I had a little girl, I would be forced to deal with those issues. And honestly, I’ve gone through it enough that I would go crazy to think my daughter will have to go through it because of other girls having insecurity and self-esteem issues.
I’m not your typical girl when it comes to talking about your emotions. I get super uncomfortable when other people cry in front of me because I don’t know what to do. On the flip side, crying doesn’t come easy to me because it’s a sign of vulnerability and weakness and I hardly share that side of me. I quickly turn a heartfelt comment into a joke just so I don’t have to feel the sentiment behind it. I’m the worst at receiving compliments because of this.
I’m sure I’ll have my share of “boy issues” like when it’s time for girlfriends or making sure he’s hanging out with the right group of friends, which I feel I can handle. It’s the more emotional stuff I struggle with and by nature, girls tend to be more emotional.
My mom did a phenomenal job raising my brother and I with confidence and high self-esteem which I believe are two major keys when raising boys. Unlike girls, boys can’t enhance their features with make-up and esthetics so it’s on me to make sure that he’s confident in his looks, his intelligence, and whatever skills and talents he acquires.
I feel like between Steven and I, we got that part on lock for him. Steven is one of the most confident people you’ll ever come across and it’s one of the reasons I’m so attracted to him. It’s not that arrogant-cocky type, it’s just a certain confidence in the way he talks and views himself that I hope Cayden gets from him.
Also, growing up with a tomboy-mom and a super hyper-active little brother who’s not even 2 years apart from me, I grew up ROUGH. I loved playing basketball and grew up hoopin’ with my brother, I was on the track team in middle school, and in elementary while all the girls were on the monkey bars, I opted out for tether ball, kickball, and dodgeball. I don’t know why, but I always gravitated toward the more rough activities.
Now that Cayden is here, one of my favorite parts of being a boy-mom is that I get to relive all those moments that I miss. At the rate he’s growing I know it won’t last long, but I can’t wait to go one on one with my son. I can’t wait to watch superhero movies and cartoons with him (I’m not your chick flick type of girl and my bestie can tell you she has to drag me to them), I can’t wait to play with action figures like I used to with my little brother, I can’t wait to have water gun fights and play video games (I’m a little rusty at 2k but we’ll see if I got muscle memory by the time he’s ready).
Want to know the absolute best part of being a boy-mom? I’m still Steven’s ONE AND ONLY GIRL. I don’t have to share him with any others, which is nice because I get spoiled not once but twice by two boys. Being the only girl in the house means I still get to have my “girl moments”. It’s nice to know that when Cayden gets a little older, daddy won’t be my only protector. Most of all I just love that the only weak and soft spot Steven has for a girl belongs to me. I know that if we had a girl I would be bumped down by default which I wouldn’t mind of course, but for now, I’m still his main girl. And as selfish as that sounds, I’m enjoying every minute of it and taking advantage of it in case there is a little girl in our future.