Being a mom is a full time job where overtime is required and you don’t get to clock in or out. So why would someone who has the choice continue to work? I’m extremely blessed that I actually get the option of whether I would like to quit my job and stay home with Cayden— without compromising the way we live. Coming from a single parent home, I know that not a whole lot of women are fortunate to be given that choice. When people tell me, “Ang, take advantage of that” or “Just stay home with your baby, you know Steven makes more than enough for the both of you,” it makes me get a little defensive. What are we? Living in 1943?!
I worked way too hard in college and double to put myself through it. I was juggling full time hours as a student, had a part-time internship, a part-time house cleaning job, a part-time nail tech job, and a part-time bartending job. I would wake up at 6AM every day and not see my bed until 3AM the next day just to get up and do it all over again. All that sacrifice is not going to go to waste for me. Oh yea, I have a cosmetology license, a real estate license (it’s inactive), my TAM card after graduating bartending school in Las Vegas, and a Bachelor of Arts in Communication. Talk about ambition right? I’ll talk about those in another post. Not working is just not my thing.
I’m climbing up. Yea it’s cool to have a college degree, but without any real experience, what good is it? I’m constantly learning new systems, new tactics, new ways of improving my craft because of my job. Have you tried looking for a job with no experience? Or how about after being out of the workforce for a while? It is HARD. I don’t believe you have to give up on your own ambitions just because you’re a mom. Kids eventually get older and independent and don’t need you around as much. They go on to live out their own dreams and accomplish their own achievements. I don’t want to regret giving up on my goals and plans because I became a mom. I really believe you can do both. On the flip side, heaven forbid something should happen to Steven, something out of our control (economy, health, job security) if it does, being in the workforce allows me to be the cushion we need if something were to happen.
I’m not okay with living under someone else’s accomplishments. Steven HATES when I say this. He grew up being taught that because he is the man he needs to take care of his family. This goes way back to us dating. He’s never allowed me to pay for anything, I’ve literally had to fight him to pay for things, even bills! Bills? Girl you trippin’. Yea, yea, I know. I fought him to let me pay bills because I’m an adult and I don’t need to be taken care of. I want us to be partners. If he aint got it, I do. I may not be making as much as he does, but it makes me feel good about being able to contribute. Our families always joke that if Steven was a billionaire, I would still be working. So absolutely, positively, definitely true! Even if it’s chump change compared to his, it feels really good when I want to treat him. It comes from my own hard work and my own pockets. I would feel weird about buying him gifts or taking him out when it’s coming from his account. Call me crazy but I feel like it would be him buying his own stuff. I would just be gift wrapping it.
At the end of the day, it’s all for Cayden. Cayden is, and will always be, my first priority. Being his mom will always be the most important job I’ll ever have. With that being said, I need to be an example for him. I think this comes from having an immigrant parent, who came to this country with literally nothing, and worked her ass off to become the successful business owner she is. The same way she’s been an example to me, I want to be that for Cayden. I want him to have that spark of ambition. I don’t want him to ever be scared of hard work. If I should ever have a daughter, I want her to know that it’s okay to be a strong independent person who wants and needs her own. I don’t just want to preach it, I want to practice it. How can I expect it from my kids if I myself aren’t doing it?
By no means am I knocking any stay-at-home moms. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll burn out and decide to be one. For now though, I’ll go down swinging if I have to.